why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize