I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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