i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
