I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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