Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize