kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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