you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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