is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
