She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
