I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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