I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
