my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Green mimosas i think yes
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
