idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
