Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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