look no pants
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
