forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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