No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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