i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
