I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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