I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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