I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
