He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
