She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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