my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
