You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Randomize
