So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
