remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
