So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
