Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
