I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize