at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
