he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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