Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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