So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
