i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
