I want to have your abortion
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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