I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
