I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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