There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Randomize
