Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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