so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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