i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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