I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
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