Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
now i know why i became what i already was.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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