you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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