umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
