Having a random hookup so left but love u
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
