i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
