There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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