I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
