you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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