what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
