How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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