It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
40s are totally the cure
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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