But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
