A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
do nipples grow back?
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