im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
My ass is underappreciated
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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